I can’t believe I’ve spent so much…
Do you feel guilty every time you buy something for yourself? Do you find yourself putting empty wrappers or coffee cups in the bin outside the house, hiding the evidence? Or maybe you’re the opposite, you feel so guilty about the idea of spending money on yourself that you never buy anything at all, instead you spend money on the people you love, trying to make them happy instead of treating yourself.
Both of those things are common in people who have ADHD. Some of us feel ashamed or guilty after buying a magazine or a drink and feel that they’ve been selfish. Sometimes our impulse buying kicks in, particularly if we’ve found a new hobby, and we go completely overboard, buying everything and anything that looks like it would be a great project, leading to huge waves of after purchase guilt and frustration, and ultimately to a lot of unfinished projects.
Money is difficult to manage, and as a lot of people with ADHD struggle to find work they are often the person who stays at home to look after the kids while their partner works, and as such, they are ‘in charge’ of the household finances. Every time we stumble and buy something we just can’t resist there’s a feeling of failure, and the question of whether we ‘confess’ what we’ve done or not. Some people have a family who understands the difficulties we have with money, others are not so fortunate and when things get out of hand, when we realise that we’ve hit the credit limit, or we haven’t considered the fact that the car insurance is due next week, or the school trip payments need to be made.
Ideally, we’d all have someone there to carefully manage our finances, to guide us with what is a good purchase, and what is necessary, and to tell us that we don’t need to ‘buy’ our friends and family with gifts but for most of us, this just isn’t possible.